Dog Day Afternoon
5:40 p.m. - 2004-06-10
It seems to me that nothing exciting has been happening to me lately, but on reflection, maybe this is not true. Yes, my father did get chomped by some marauding big black dogs. My brother and I tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he kept putting it off until last Friday. Now he is at home, resting with his foot up on a chair, taking antibiotics and being glad he does not have rabies. The funny part of this is his call to the animal control people. He does not want to give up his morning walk, so he wants to take a big stick and a squirter bottle of ammonia. He wondered if this was OK, so called up Animal Control and asked the nice lady who answered the phone. He told her that, in cases of self defense, he wanted to spritz the attacking doggies with ammonia, and while they were distracted, give them "an attitude adjustment" with the stick. She said that the law may have problems with the ammonia, it might be deemed 'excessive force', so he should use diluted lemon juice instead. She said this will surprise the dogs and give him a chance to get in a few licks with the stick. It amuses me that Animal Control had problems with the liquid and not with the stick. Animal lovers who object should see what those vicious Rottweilers (who had collars!) did to my dad's leg. Imagine if it had been a woman with an infant in a stroller.
I was almost done in by donuts today. I was driving home past the donut shop, and I saw, while waiting for the red light to change, a man come out of the shop with a huge bin of mixed kinds of donuts. I was wondering where he was going with them (to the dumpster?, home?) when the light changed and I started forward just as some lame bozo cut right in front of me from the third lane to make a right turn. I slammed on the brakes, and vowed to pay more attention to the road than I do to donuts.
People used to bring Krispy Kreme donuts to the office all the time, since there is one just across the street, but now that everyone is all Atkinated and low-carb, no one brings them anymore. I notice that only one lady is really having success with the diet, and the others are mysteriously gaining weight. It must be hard to de-carb yourself for long periods of time.
Time to cook dinner.